


(Can we still be) Friends

by asongwritteneasily



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, M/M, lovers to friends to...?, no beta we die like men, sort of ansty, sort of open ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:15:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26036272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asongwritteneasily/pseuds/asongwritteneasily
Summary: Some people said, having your ex as a close friend was a sign of psychopathy, and Hongjoong was about to believe that.(Or Seonghwa and Hongjoong broke up months ago and they still can quite let go of each other.)
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26





	(Can we still be) Friends

_[ I’m wondering_

_Can we still be friends?_

_Can we still be friends?_

_Doesn’t have to end_

_And if it ends_

_Can we be friends? ]_

Hongjoong stared at his phone, then turned to look up at the ceiling like it could give him any answer to whatever was happening between him and Seonghwa. Everyone told him at the beginning of the end, it wasn’t really healthy to keep such a close contact with your ex boyfriend once they decided to broke up (he decided, he decided and broke Hongjoong’s heart and it hurt, it still hurt and-) a part of him knew his friends were right but other part of him still had a bit of hope that they somehow were going to get back together after a break.

It had been 9 months since that.

He had tried, to keep his distance, to not depend so much of the other but Seonghwa acted so sad everytime he tried to pull away and Hongjoong while he hated him he just couldn’t bring himself to hurt him.

He tiptoed around the fact of meeting, even hooking up with other boys, not telling his ex he was trying to mend his heart through falling into unknown beds, because he didn’t know how Seonghwa would take the news.

Unless he knew.

_‘If you ever met someone and date, it will tear me apart.’_

Hongjoong squeezed his eyes shut, to avoid either tears or a headache he didn’t know. Those words, said by Seonghwa, were tattooed in his mind, in his heart.

After they split, he realized that the only way he would be able to stay in their close knitted friend’s circle was to be either drunk out of his mind or high as kite, because just looking at Seonghwa was physically painful.

He had told Seonghwa while partying in a common friend’s house, months after they were not longer together, both with way too much alcohol in their system, that he hated him and he wished he had never knew him and Seonghwa had replied that he then didn’t regret his decision, that he was right in dumping his fuck up ass. He still remember how devastated the other looked when he spitted those words, how the pain was reflected in Seonghwa’s face, bled into his eyes and filled them with unshed tears.

He ended up being carried by Seonghwa, to his apartment and to his bed, tucked in and told off to sleep; the next morning was awkward, Hongjoong not remembering much of their fight, aside of that was bad and he didn’t regret anything.

No one understood what was going on between them; they still shared their Spotify subscription, they still slept on the other’s apartment, on the other’s bed; they texted over the phone everyday, they still care.

_‘Do you hate me?’ Seonghwa asked and Hongjoong rolled to his side, not looking at him, they were in his bed, after too much drinking and not enough thinking. ‘Hongjoong-ah do you?’_

_‘Yeah.’_

_‘Why? Nothing has to change, we still can be friends.’_

And really, nothing really changed but at the same time everything did change; Hongjoong still felt the hole in his heart, still cried over his failed relationship, still couldn’t quite bring himself to move on. He stared at his phone, the text he was unable to answer mocking him.

**_**Hwa:** _ **

_Are you dating someone?_

Hongjoong wasn’t.

He was fooling around with a random guy, nothing serious, nothing more than sex and both knew that it was all they wanted out of it; he liked the guy, they had a lot things in common, he was funny and a great laid but that was about it.

After all, he wasn’t Seonghwa.

**_**Hwa:** _ **

_Are you dating someone?_

_..._

_I knew it, you had been ignoring my texts for a while I..._

_Fuck, Joong, I..._

_Can we still be friends?_

Hongjoong blinked away his tears, Seonghwa was online, and he wondered if it was better just to let him think that and finally close their chapter; he could finally move on and stop feeling like he was such a nutcase, that he was worthy of something beautiful and bright and he deserved to be loved like he wanted to be loved.

**_**Hwa:** _ **

_I knew this day will come, and I knew it would destroy me. I knew I will regret forever letting you go, but you have to understand, it is the best for you, Joong. You deserve better than what I could offer you, and I still love you, I will always but not the type of love you are looking for._

_I will still always be there for you._

Hongjoong was crying, he was crying over something that ended almost a year ago and still had an iron grip over his heart; he didn’t understand why, why if Seonghwa loved him so much, if he having a boyfriend was making him so sad, why then, why they couldn’t fix whatever was wrong with them?

He wiped his tears angrily.

**_**Joong:** _ **

_I’m not dating anyone, I’m just utterly sad and I you Park Seonghwa, are making me cry over shit that shouldn’t be cried on. Can we not talk about this over the phone?_

Hongjoong stared at the screen.

**_**Hwa:** _ **

_Ok..._

_Sorry about that. Don’t cry please._

Hongjoong went to sleep with dry tears on his face.

He dreamt about Seonghwa and happy times.

After that day, Seonghwa didn’t touch the subject again and Hongjoong found himself in a sort of catharsis mode, like a bit of his weighed heart was not longer that heavy; he found himself not needing the other, or anyone really, to make himself feel better.

He moved to a new fantastic place, he changed jobs and he truly was feeling great about his life.

He moved on, in more way than one.

He could truly say he was able to just be friends with Seonghwa, without harbouring any other feeling for the boy and things, things between them stopped being so bittersweet, so tainted. He felt like free of his past relationship, and ready to start anew.

“Something happened?” Seonghwa asked, smiling lightly. “You look... different.”

Hongjoong smiled, eyes twinkling with mischief, they were at a coffee shop, he recently dyed blue hair a stark contrast with the background; Seonghwa eyed him, but waited patiently for him to respond. They finally could hang out without any buffer, either people or some sort of illicit substance numbing his senses and he couldn’t help but flutter his eyelashes in a bit of a flirty way.

“Do you think so?” He said and he knew he was playing a bit too coy, putting his chin over his hand.

Seonghwa stared, and a small blush crept on his cheek; he looked away, chewing his lips and Hongjoong felt, again, that tug in his gut, like the first time he met the other. He tried to not react to it, but he knew his eyes softened as Seonghwa’s expression morphed into something similar. They sip their drinks in silence, but there was a renewed tension, long lost even before they became apart.

He risked it, taking Seonghwa’s hand, looking at him with something deep into his eyes.

This was not them going back.

Seonghwa looked at him, smiling softly, squeezing his hand.

This was them falling in.

And hell, Hongjoong would do it all over again.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on real life stuff that happened
> 
> Inspo: Justin Beiber's Friends.


End file.
